Seeking Recovery from Human Condition?
I think about this when I go to sitting groups and hear people talk about the frustration of sooo wanting to be ok with circumstances around them as they are. I think the 12 steppers call it life on life’s terms and the Buddhist’s talk about equanimity.
As the person with the raised hand and the sense of failure goes on to describe the situation and the space between where s/he feels s/he ought to be and where s/he is, I start to feel myself getting on board thinking, “Yes, me too. I am happy when things are going my way…for a time when they aren’t, then I lose it under the pressure of trying to stick with a not so newly minted value system, but not the default one for sure…I’m still getting this, sigh!”
Then the monk will be quiet for some time and find some eloquent way of helping us laugh at ourselves and some incredibly succinct way to point out that the person speaking is still a human and that this is indeed the human condition. So why is there this expectation that it will be different?
In other words, I get involved in life, I become passionate…thank goodness we do not get so beaten down by circumstances and all of the things we have and do overcome that we lose our abilities to ignite over a spark of an idea.
Then a sharp, cold breeze of questioning, or simply “the way things are”, comes along and we are suddenly struggling to keep our little flame going.
Was that breeze just happening along? Or was it intended for us as a message? Maybe the, you’re-on-the-wrong-path
kind of message, turn back while you still can?
Plus the extra energy of building the flame back up…
And what if it is a windy season (which I don’t know if you have noticed, as I step outside this metaphor in a PowerPath sort of way, but it has been the windiest season in Bay Area history for some time, and as Chinese medicine warns, if you have our kind of liver/kidney combination-I’m just sayin’”! )?
Then we get all aflutter between the energy of keeping our flame going and the self doubt and maybe some self pity creeps in….all of these are human and understandable and what is strange is how we consistently expect to have some other kind of experience.
Like tomorrow I will wake up and only react like a firefly, or a bee… I will it to be so I WILL IT TO BE SO!! I will simply know my duties and simply do them I will.
It is nice to be in the manifesting, warm, relaxing waters of the flow of the plan you had set up.
And the immediate forgetfulness that drops in about the fear and worry that things were really NOT going to work out this time is a lovely kind of lemonade fog.
But I wonder today what gifts the rough waters have for us…
that get left so quickly behind.
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